Drifting
by niver
Summary: /sequel to my oneshot, You Held Me/ She was drifting further apart from Sasuke, further apart than the gap between them after he left the village. /more onesided Sasusaku/ /hints of Narusaku/ /angst/ /oneshot/


**A/N: YOU DON'T HAVE TO, BUT THIS WILL MAKE MORE SENSE IF YOU READ 'YOU HELD ME' FIRST. IT'S A SHORT ONESHOT, AND SASUKE'S VERSION OF THIS, YOU COULD SAY. THIS ONE IS MUCH SHORTER.**

**IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING:**

_(blah blah blah) _Sakura's thoughts. Not capitalized on purpose.

_blah blah blah_ Random things, pretty much covers where the quotes from You Held Me are from.

**'blah blah blah' **Quote from a post time skip character

**Drifting**

She had loved him. Simple as that. At first it was just a crush, but then it changed, and she realized just how much she cared. Of course, what was not to love? That boy had been the heartthrob of the village girls. _(still would be, if he hadn't left.)_

Pale skin. _(it contrasted so nicely, i remember i wished i looked like that.)_

Dark gray eyes that appeared black, and burned with a inner desire. _(a desire that would take him away.)_

Short black hair, highlighted blue in light, that stuck up in the back. _(i remember wishing i could run my fingers through that silky hair.)_

A beautiful, perfect face---he'd always been more handsome in a beautiful way. _(he was too good for me, he was too excellent, i was nowhere near as gorgeous.)_

He'd been strong too. Able to protect _(his back suddenly showed up in my line of vision as he protected me)_, and kill _(though i don't remember him ever killing anyone---maybe it changed once he joined that snake)_.

Yet no matter how strong he was, he had always thirsted for power. Power to kill the one who had hurt him. _(what did he say that day? oh yeah. that man had made him cry.)_ He'd abandoned the village, her precious Uchiha Sasuke-kun. _(left me even though I cared so much. i loved him. i love him. i loved him. i love him!!)_

All he had said to her was 'thank you', before knocking her unconscious. _(thank you? to i love you? does it mean something?)_

Thanks for what! Thanks for not bringing Naruto, who would certainly stop him? Thanks for loving? Thanks for the good times? Thanks for being useless? Thanks for trying? Thanks for being there to see him off? _(left me even though I cared so much. i loved him. i love him. i loved him. i love him!!)_

The years passed, she trained, she got stronger. _(but not strong enough, or he would be by my side.)_ She had to get stronger; after all, being weak was one of her faults when she was younger.

Not only did her ninja skills change, but something else did as well. Two and half years, Naruto was gone. Two and a half years, she realized maybe he was more important than she first thought. Two and a half years of missing his cheerful personality. Two and a half years . . . and he came back. _(i remember asking him how i looked. i didn't realize that was the start of my attitude towards him changing.)_

It was all wrong. Naruto was now the highly attractive male in her presence constantly, instead of Sasuke. Naruto was the one she found herself thinking about, instead of Sasuke. _(was i forgetting about my love that fast? no. my love for him was changing.)_

She was drifting further apart from Sasuke, further apart than the gap between them after he left the village. She wasn't falling out of love, so much as not being in love with the Uchiha. IT WAS ALL WRONG. She couldn't consider _Naruto _more of a love interest than Sasuke, could she? Yet it was true. She was loving Sasuke more in a _different _way now. _(he's a brother, a friend, a teammate. he never loved me back that way, so maybe i'll have a chance another way.)_

So when they stand in front of him, Sai and Naruto don't register with her. The only person she notices is Sasuke, as she stares at that flaunted perfection and tries to force herself to love him THAT way again. But there is only a faint stirring of attraction, and Sakura knows it's not a case of absence making the heart grow fonder. _(what happened to my feelings? am i the one that changed, or is he?)_

She wishes she could care for him that way again, because something in his eyes tells her he needs it. Something in those dark eyes that says something to Sakura, like the dark-haired male is trying to communicate with her without words. She fancies she sees the reflection of everything they've been through together---

_Zabuza and Haku. His corpse, lying there, peppered with senbon needles. Her heart breaking as she clings to his cold body, knowing she shouldn't cry but unable to help it. And then, miraculously, he moves, and the brush off 'you're heavy, Sakura', doesn't bother her because it means her Sasuke-kun is alive and back. Her voice brought him back. She notices that now._

---and she finds herself remembering too. And something in her yearns to return to those days where everything was simpler, and they were Team Seven, and more importantly, when they were with each other. She'd rather face the Chuunin exams again with Orochimaru and everyone else---

_The fear, the primal need to flee. The blood, so much blood. Kunai, jutsu, sound nin, attackers, left to maybe DIE for five days. The snake-like man placing that curse seal on her Sasuke-kun, and the terribleness of his chakra when those dark marks wriggled across his flesh. He saved her, protected her, he must have cared, right? She notices that now._

---if only it meant they weren't apart. And she's still gazing into his eyes, because time has frozen and there is only the two of them, trapped in their own little word of lost love and need of companionship. Something flickers in the depth of those smooth eyes, and Sakura is caught---

_He said thank you as a good bye. She poured my heart and soul out to him, and even offered to accompany him. ANYTHING to stay with him. Yet he only said 'thank you'. She used to wonder what those two simple words were meant to convey, but now she knows. 'Thank you for helping me in my dark moments, and thank you for giving me my light moments'. It was also an unspoken, yet obvious, 'I love you'. She noticed that now._

---in those deep pools, that contain so much emotion beneath the uncaring appearance. All these events in their past that made little sense or were unimportant at the moment now clicked. He loved her, and if that flicker had been any indication, he still loved her. _(left me even though he cared so much. he loved me. he loves me. he loved me. he loves me!!)_

They could have had a chance. A couple. Through everything, they could have stood strong in their love. Yet he left, and now there was no chance, they had been moving apart over the years, and now there was an ocean between them. _(i can imagine a baby girl with pink hair and gray eyes. a simple house with a garden out front. a son with dark hair and green eyes. i should use genetic possibility to figure out what our children would look like, but that just feels so right. but it's too late now.)_

And then the moment between them is broken, and their surroundings rush back around the pair. She's not aware she whispered his name, only aware of the disturbing realization set upon her. Naruto is by her side, oblivious to the moment shared between the former teammates. _(we both loved each other, but only i could admit it.)_

And Sasuke's eyes flicker between her and Naruto, and a sickening thought arrests her. That he knows. There's something about the way the pinkette and the blonde are standing next to each other, and something in her green eyes that has alerted him of the possible romance between her and her blue-eyed teammate. _(it's true. but he will get so hurt, he loves me, and i can't say the same towards him.)_

Maybe jealousy is what powered him to attack in the desire to kill, or maybe Sakura was imagining that he knew things like her agreeing to a date with Naruto. One thing for sure was their situations had been startling reversed, between now and way back then; him loving her, while she only had some vague feelings 'that way' towards him. It didn't matter when he started loving her, it was true. _(i believe this is what they call irony. or maybe not. i'm so confused!)_

They eventually return to Konoha, and Sasuke is not with them, and the strange thing is, like a weary soldier just accepting he has to kill, they've gotten used to him not being there. _(i don't want to forget him, i still love him another way. but it's like his presence is being erased.)_

At some point she goes home to cry over life getting just a bit more complicated. And she decides it's complicated because the heart is the weakest points on human beings. As the tears curve down her cheeks, she tries to remember why people don't just protect their hearts from such things as _love _and _disappointment._ Then she remembers the red-headed Akasuna no Sasori, and one of the many things he said during their fight. _(the fight where i proved myself. look Sasuke-kun, i'm not weak anymore!)_

**'I suppose I kept my heart because I couldn't give up entirely on being human.' **

She wants to be human, so she cries and cries and lets her heart hurt.

**The End**

**LOL SASORI REFERENCE. I totally adore Sasori. And Legal Drug. xD (Just read the first three volumes.)**


End file.
